Game Show
by AngelxRose
Summary: Squall Gets to be on a dating game show ) SeiferSquall another chapter up RxR plz
1. Gameshow

Game Show

Disclaimer: Nope, Final Fantasy 8 does not belong to me.  It belongs to umm.. squaresoft or whoever its rightful owners are.  I own none of the characters and this is written purely for my own entertainment and I do not make any profit from it whatsoever. =)

Squall quietly walked down the long corridor.  He did not want to attract attention or let Selphie know that he was here.  Selphie had been trying to have a talk with Squall ever since he broke up with Rinoa.  Squall knows that the brunette was up to no good, especially since she started introducing strangers to Squall, probably hoping that Squall will find a new girlfriend after Rinoa.  'No way!' Squall thought.  After dating Rinoa, he did not want to ever have a girlfriend.  Her little whiny voice, that kept nagging him to "express his feelings."  Also, the way she always clings to him for life, it all makes Squall want to gag.

"Squall!  There you are. I've been looking all over for you.  So, what did you think of Sallie?  She's hot right?  Oh! I knew it.  Ok I'll call her and tell her you want a second date.  Teehee!!" Selphie squealed in delight, while Squall just blankly stared at her, not saying a word.  

"So, where shall you go with her?  Hmm… a nice restaurant would be a good start.  Then you must take her to see all the wildlife at the new Estar exhibit!  Yes, that is a perfect date.  And then, later you can go-" Selphie was abruptly interrupted by a simple "No" from Squall.  "What do you mean no?  You don't like wildlife?  Okay you'll go somewhere else then."  

"Selphie," Squall said, grinding his teeth, "I don't like your friend Sallie.  She's nice and pretty, but it's not going to work out."

"Wha-? Why not?"

"Because, I don't like girls." Squall was grinding his teeth so hard that he thought he might just chip some.  

"So, you like guys?  Is that it?  No problem!  I'll find someone for you.  SO you like blonds or brunettes?"

            "What?"  Squall had never thought that he might possibly like guys.  

            "What do you mean what?"

"I dunno..  I never thought about guys before.  I always thought personality were the most important, but Sallie's nice and all, and I still don't like her that way."

"Heehee!  I got this perfect plan for you!!"  Squall groaned.  He did not like the sound of this.  

Announcer:  

Ladies and Gentlemen.  Welcome to the Dating Game!  On your left, you have the lovely and beautiful, strong and courageous, did I mention beautiful, Commander of Garden, Squall Leonhart.  On the right, our three contestants, the arrogant blond, the romantic, and the chicken wuss!

Zell: (standing up and waving his fists at the announcer angrily)  Hey! Who you calling chicken wuss? 

Announcer:  Umm… hehe (looking slightly nervous) Let us continue.  Now who will the Commander chose to be his date?  Remember, the contestants and the Commander will not see each other until after he has chosen.  Now let us have some fun!

Squall :  'Damn, I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this, how… embarrassing'  ……….

Announcer: (whispers to Squall) Ask some questions to the contestants.

Squall:  Uh…well…What is your favorite weapon and why do you chose it?

Zell:  I don't need any weapon!  My fists are enough to defeat any foe!  (jumped up and demonstrated his fighting technique to the crowd.  The crowd cheered)

Squall:  'Okay…wutever…dumbass.  You always need a weapon' ……….next.

Irvine:  'Why the hell am I on the show? I'm not even gay.  O well…'  My gun will defend all the ladies…and gentlemen…I guess…if they need me…I mean what guy will need help from another guy?  That's just gay.  (many people glaring at him)  I mean uh…not that there's anything wrong with being gay…  

Squall:  'What the hell.  Is that Irvine on the show?  Damn, wtf he doing here'  umm.. okay… good answer, I guess.  Next? 

Seifer:  What?  What am I doing here?  Last thing I remember was time compression and the sorceress.  

Announcer:  (whisper to Seifer)  It doesn't matter how you got here.  Just answer the question.  

Seifer:  Umm…(thinking) … I think I prefer a gunblade.  I'm a gunblade specialist and I'm better than anyone!!  Even that short ice prince Commander!

Squall:  Hey! I'm not that short!

Seifer:  Squall?  Where are you?  (attempting to climb over the wall to see Squall; Announcer summoned some bodyguards to pull Seifer down)  (Seifer cursed.)  Damn shit! Let go of me.  Let me see Squall!!

Announcer:  eh… lets not turn this into Jerry Springer.  Seifer, you can see Squall after the show.  (Seifer seemed content with this and climbed back down the wall) 

Okay, next question Squall?

Squall:  What is your favorite food?  

Irvine:  My absolute favorite is-

Zell: Hotdogs!!

Irvine:  Do you mind?  I'm answering the question here.  

Zell: (looking down on the floor)  sorry

Irvine:  As I was saying, my favorite food is-

Selphie:  Irvine! What are you doing here?  I thought I told you to find Nida!  Get off the stage!!  You're my boyfriend!

Irvine:  (sweatdrop)  umm… who's Nida? 

Selphie:  Grr…(got on stage and dragged Irvine off)

Irvine:  Hey! I was about to answer the question!  (Sephie hit him on the arms)  Oww… really, honey I don't know a Nida!!

Announcer:  Okay… that was uncalled for.  Well…one contestant eliminated!

Squall:  Umm… Seifer?  What's your favorite food?

Seifer:  Chocolate.  Yes. Definitely.  Chocolate candy, chocolate bars, chocolate fruit candy, chocolate ice cream, and chocolate colored hair.  Hey! just like yours Squall!

Squall:  (buried his face in his hands) 'why me?'

Seifer:  Oh!  I also like white chocolate!

Squall:  Seifer…you do know that white chocolate isn't chocolate right?  I mean they call it chocolate, but its really something else altogether.  

Seifer:  (a horrored look on his face)  Nooooo!!!!  Why me? 

Squall: umm… (looking kinda nervous) I'm… uh… just kidding?  

Seifer: Whew Squall you really had me there, I mean of course white chocolate is chocolate.  It will be stupid to call it chocolate if it was not right?  (looking at the audience for answer)

Audience: hehe (look at each other and attempt to leave)

Selphie: hey! no one is leaving! (and since she is also holding a giant crowbar, no one is arguing with her)

Announcer: Lets get back to the show everyone.  Zell, why don't you answer Squall's question?

Zell: My most favorite food is- 

Seifer: (interrupting) Hotdogs!!  Everyone knows, Zell.  (Seifer is also eating a hotdog, slowly chewing it.  Obviously pleased that Zell is drooling on the floor looking at the food.) 

Zell: Hey!  Where the hell you get that? 

Seifer: The writer of this story gave it to me. (smirk)  Want some? (holding it on top of his head.  Where Zell couldn't reach.) 

Zell: Seifer!!!  (trying to reach the hotdog, even knowing that he will never reach it)

(A lot of yelling and screaming, mostly from Zell, yelling that it's not fair that he doesn't get anything to eat.) 

Selphie: Zell sit down this instant! (holding her weapon)

Zell: (terrified since he himself left his gloves at home, sat down and watched miserably as Seifer finished the hotdog) 

Seifer: Yum, that was good.  Too bad you didn't get any to eat chicken wuss. 

Zell: (glared his best death glare, which wasn't very good anyways, no where near Squall's.)

Announcer: Wow, that was um… interesting.  Now Squall, why don't you ask them another question?

Squall: (watching all of this patiently) If you can use only magic or only your weapon to fight, what would you chose? 

Zell: Weapon! I don't need any magic to defeat my opponents!

Seifer:  Hehe, I fight the best with my weapon. (waving Hyperion around proudly and dangerously close to hiting Zell.)

Zell: Hey!  (backing away)  You're gonna cut my nose off!!

Seifer: (puts Hyperion back)  Anyways, I would've defeated all of you and ruled the world if you damn Seeds would stop using Recover and Revive all those goddamn times.  

Zell: That fight was fair!!

Seifer: really?  And did you ever see me recovering?  No!  And did I mention that YOU Chicken wuss had KO'ed Several Times!!!

Zell: (sweatdrop) Two wasn't several.  That's a couple of times! 

Squall: (attempting to escape off of stage while this was happening.  He somehow convinced Ifrit to sit for him for the rest of the show, hoping that people wouldn't notice how his appearance had changed, dramatically.)

Ifrit: ENOUGH.  WHO DARES CHALLENGE ME?

Seifer and Zell: (looks at each other) (sweatdrop) 

Announcer: Squall? Uh… did you change your clothes? You look different.  The hair too.  I don't remember you having red hair.  

Ifrit: SO YOU ARE THE CHALLENGER? 

Announcer: Ch- Challenger?  I'm just a host!!  For this love match game!!

Ifrit: LOVE MATCH GAME?  SQUALL TOLD ME THIS WAS AN ARENA WHERE PEOPLE BATTLE TO THE DEATH.  AND I GET TO SMASH PUNY HUMANS TO PIECES.  DESTRUCTION!!!  (Ifrit roared.  The whole audience and people on stage ran for their lives, as fast as their short legs would let them.  Of course that didn't stop Ifrit from smashing a few people.)    

As everyone ran outside, Seifer saw a glimpse of Squall opening the back door, and he followed.  

Seifer: (nervously) hehe… hey Squall.  How you doing?

Squall: (turned around in surprise) How you find me? I thought Ifrit was substituting for me.  (Looking bewildered, for a way out of this situation)

Seifer: ya… He was, until he decided that pummeling people was better.

Squall: oh.  

Seifer: So… you busy this Friday? 

Squall: What? Wha…What do you mean busy?

Seifer: Well… I was thinking we can have like a uh… dinner or something, for… like a reunion, just you and me

Squall: ……………

Seifer:  okay! I'll take that as a yes.  See ya at 8! (ran away too fast before Squall could have a chance to say anything)

Squall: (what have I gotten myself into?) (well… better make good use of it, he's paying)

Two hours later- Back at Balamb Garden 

Selphie: You know how many got injured at the show?  I heard they were going to cancel it.

Irvine: naw.  It's the only entertainment they have, they're not goin to cancel it.  I mean what else they gonna do for fun?

Selphie: your right, honey (hugs Irvine)

Irvine: ya, I know. 

Selphie: anyways, heard Zell KO'd again. Teehee… got crushed by Ifrit or something.  

Irvine: ya, heard he saw a phantom hotdog and chased after it, and it led him straight to Ifrit's paw… poor guy.

Selphie: lucky Nida was there, and revived him. Or he'd still be dead. 

Irvine: (sweatdrop) Who is this Nida guy anyways!  I've been hearing about him all the time!

Selphie: he's a Seed!  Irvine, don't you remember time compression? 

Irvine: (puzzled) What's time compression? Never heard of it.  

Selphie: (looking suspiciously at Irvine)  Irvine… do you still have Quazecolt? 

Irvine: uh… (scared look on his face) maybe… (trying not to look into Selphie's accusing glare)

Selphie:  Arg! You know they erase your memory!  Unjunction it right now!

Irvine: but… Squall has Ifrit and he doesn't lose his memory…

Selphie: That's because Squall sold his soul to Ifrit! 

Irvine: nonsense, that's just a rumor, besides, I don't think Ifrit collects souls

Selphie: well, then he's an Ice Price and Ifrit is Fire

Irvine: so… what does that have to do with anything?

Selphie: …hmm… you're right… it doesn't have to do with anything.

**8 o'clock **

Seifer: (holding a bunch of roses and a box of caramel apples, he like caramel apples)  Squall? You there?  (he knocks on Squall's door, then bangs on it)

Squall: ………… ya……

Seifer: Well, can you open the door?  I'm here to take you to dinner  (brilliant smile on his face as Squall opens the door)

Squall: (frowns) What?

Seifer: (shoves flowers and candy to Squall, he is nervous)  This is for you, sweetheart  (smiles more)

Squall: (eyes candy apples, he also likes them) thanks……… (stands there for a minute)  they poisonous?

Seifer: no…

Squall: ok (drops gifts to the floor as Seifer picks him up and caries him to the car)

Seifer drives to the restaurant with Squall sitting silently at the passenger seat.  

Squall:  Seifer! Watch out for that old lady. 

Seifer: What Old Lady!  (as a bump hits the car)

Squall:  You know you just committed a hit and run and possibly murder. 

Seifer:  What old lady???  As far as I know, I was never here and you were never here and we didn't hit anyone ok?

Squall: *sweatdrop* Do you have a license?

Seifer: You need a license to drive this thing? (throws up his hands) How come no one tells me these things?

Squall: Watch the road!

Seifer:  Hey we're here.  Umm… you know how to park this thing?

Squall: (sighs and parks the car)

Seifer: So… what do you like to eat?  I'm ordering steak and prawns and mash potatoes and don't forget the good old ice cream dessert.

Squall: (god he eats a lot)  I'll get the chicken pasta with cream sauce.

Seifer: That's all?  No wonder you're so skinny.  

Squall: (death glare) ……

Meanwhile…

Ifrit:  WHERE HUMANS GO? (people scurrying away) 

Girl:  Ahhh!!! (as she got caught in Ifrit's paws and crushed)

Ifrit:  NO MORE HUMANS TO KILL?  NO FUN.  WHERE IS SQUALL?  (Goes off to look for Squall)

Back at the restaurant…

Squall: ………

Seifer: Well Squall, have I ever told you how pretty your eyes are?

Squall: ………

Seifer: And how I like your hair?

Squall: ………

Seifer: And you know I've got a crush on you for a long while?

Squall: ………

Seifer: Squall!  Are you listening to me?

Squall:  (pulls out earphones) What?

Seifer:  (Points to the entrance of the restaurant)  Isn't that your GF?  What's he doing here?

Ifrit: WHERE IS SQUALL?  IFRIT TIRED SLEEP NOW.

Squall: (sweat drop) ……… Never seen him before.  Let's go. 

They run out into the street and into the car.  Squall drove. 

Behind them:  Ifrit running, red hair flaring and swaying in air.  He is shaking his fists and cursed as he stepped on an old lady's corpse.

To be continued……  

Comments?  


	2. Gameshow Continue

Game Show 

Continue

Disclaimer: Nope, Final Fantasy 8 does not belong to me.  It belongs to umm.. squaresoft or whoever its rightful owners are.  I own none of the characters and this is written purely for my own entertainment and I do not make any profit from it whatsoever. =)

Selphie entered the cafeteria, stomach growling in hunger.  'Geez, I wonder what happened to Squall and Ifrit, haven't seen them since the show yesterday.'  She lined up quickly to make sure there were still good food left.  A tap on her shoulder made the small girl turn around.  

Selphie: Hey! What are you doing here?  

Quistis: I do live here, Selphie.

Selphie: Well, it's just you never leave that cubicle of yours, so we all just assume you left Garden, that's all.  

Quistis: Cubicle!!!!  That's my office!!  (Many people turned around to stare at who was screaming so loud.)

Selphie: Right…  (rolls her eyes) 

Quistis: Well, I just came here to see how Zell is.  

Selphie: Why would you come to the cafeteria then?  (after a second of silence, a light bulb lights up on top of Selphie's head)  Oh!  That's right, he's always in the cafeteria! If you're looking for him today though, he's in the infirmary.  

Quistis: Why's that?  Is he hurt?

Selphie: No big deal, just got smashed by Ifrit, that's all.  

Quistis: Then I better bring him some hotdogs later.  

Selphie: Hey! good idea, I'll come with you.  

Twenty minutes later, the two girls arrive at the infirmary carrying armfuls of hotdogs.  

Selphie: Knock, Knock, anyone home? 

Qusitis: Oh, Zell…we got a surprise for you.  

Zell: (Suspicious of who it may be, he grabbed his bat and ready to swing it as he opened the door) 

Selphie: Waaah!!! Zell, you almost killed me!  (As the bat missed, but just one inch from her face)  

Quistis: We brought you some hotdogs.  We know it's your favorite. (she smiled as she settled the hotdogs down on the table)

Zell: Quistis! Selphie! What are you doing here?  And how did you manage to get so many hotdogs?

Selphie: (Smiling mischievously) A little thing called blackmail.  

Zell: (grabs several hotdogs and began stuffing them into his mouth, grunting out some incoherent words)

Quistis: I think he wants to know what the blackmail is, Selphie.

Selphie: Promise you wouldn't tell anyone.  Quistis, remember how we sneaked into the cafeteria at midnight?  The time Irvine dared us to?  Well…we found some pretty disgusting stuff in there.

Zell: (Nodding as he continue to devour the hotdogs)

Quistis: Yeah, it was pretty dark in there, and- 

Selphie: They have chunks of cut up people!!! All over the place, I mean in the refrigerator, on the counters, everywhere!! 

Quistis: Haha, Selphie, it was only defrosted chicken.   

Selphie:  And!!!!  they use Grade F Meat!!!!  I saw it on the labels!!  

Zell: (his eyes widen as he almost spit out his hotdogs) 

Selphie:  Yea, the hotdogs too, grade F.  

Quistis gasped as Zell promptly fainted.  

***At Seifer's Room* **

Seifer: Squall, you better come out of there.  It really doesn't suit the Commander of Garden to be hiding under the bed.  

Squall: He's gonna get me.  

Seifer: Squall!! Come out!  (Reaches in and pulls Squall out by the arm, or he attempted to, anyways)

Squall: Noooo!!!  I won't and you can't make me!

Seifer: Stop being a baby and come out!  You are going to have to face him someday. 

Squall:  Someday, but not today!

Seifer:  Fine, but when he comes in, I'll tell him you're under the bed.  

Squall:  You wouldn't.  

Seifer: I would.

Squall: You wouldn't. 

Seifer: Yes I would.

Squall: No you won't. 

Seifer: Squall!  Come on, get out from under there! 

Squall: No……….

Seifer: (With an evil grin on his face) You know, there are spiders under there.  

Squall: You're lying.  

Seifer: No I'm not.  I haven't cleaned under the bed for a while.  I won't be surprised if there's ants and termites there too.  

Squall: You are just trying to get me to come out.  (Squall began to feel paranoid, and little imaginary insects tickling his legs)

Seifer:  Suit yourself, I'm going to take a nice clean shower.  Those bugs aren't gonna get me.  

Squall: ……………

Seifer: I'm going!  

Squall: ………………………Seifer?

Seifer: Yes? (Sticking his head under the bed) Are you coming out?

Squall: Insects? 

Seifer: Yes. 

Squall looked totally creeped out as he crawled out from under the bed and ran to the bathroom as fast as his legs will carry him.  He began stripping off his clothes just to see if any insects were on him. Then he turned on the shower and rinsed himself clean.  Within five minutes, he came out of the shower in a big fluffy white towel.  

Squall:  Seifer? You don't happen to have any spare clothes do you?   

Seifer: Nope.  Guess you just have to go around naked huh?  Just not your day, commander. 

Squall:  …………… (glares at Seifer) …………

Seifer: (swallows nervously under Squall's death glare) ………Fine, it's over there!  

Squall: (got dressed and cringes as a loud knock sounded through the door)  ……… Don't answer …

Seifer:  Yes? Who is it?  

Squall:  You're dead Almasy.  

Voice:  It's me!! Is Squall with you by the way?  

Seifer:  Squall??? 

Squall:  Tell and I'll chop you to pieces.  (Ultimate death glare) 

Seifer:  (chuckles)  Squall… ya why he's right here!  Come on in Mr. President.  

Laguna:  (a big grin, stretching across his face, looking a bit like a clown, strolled in)  Hey son!! Want to give your dad a hug?  

Squall: ……no  (gasps in surprise as he was tackled and pinned by a giant bear…well, just his dad, but the way his hug is, he could be a bear) 

Seifer:  See? I knew you two will get along.  

Squall: (death glare, death glare, death glare.  If his glare was a laser, Seifer's room would've been smoked in ruins.) 

Laguna: You know, I just thought we could spend some quality time together.  After all, I could get to know Seifer better too.  

Squall:  (blink) Seifer's coming with us?  

Laguna:  Of course!  Don't you dare leave your lover out of this!! 

Seifer:  (sweatdrop) 

Squall:  Seifer is NOT my lover.  (glares some more at Seifer, then grabs him by the arms and dragged him into the next room) Why would he think we're lovers Seifer??? 

Seifer:  You're dad's crazy, everyone knows.  Hehe… 

Squall:  …………

Seifer: Hey don't look at me like that!  It wasn't my fault really.  

Squall:  …………

Seifer: (gulps) Well, look at the time, not good to keep your dad waiting!  (and he practically ran out of the room) 

Squall: ………… (as he quickly follows Seifer)

Seifer: (gasp)  OMG!! Laguna what are you doing??

Squall: (puts his hands over his forehead.  He felt a headache coming) 

Laguna: Hey kids!  Look what I found in Seifer's room, pretty kinky guy isn't he Squall??  Well, I'm glad you're having some fun with each other, I mean Squall definitely needs it!!  (holding up a dildo in his hand and waving it around as he speaks)  

Squall: (looks at Seifer then puts his face into his hands, mumbling)  this is not happening.

Laguna: Oh, and this! (picks up a pair of handcuffs and some rope) Never thought you liked being tied up.  (then picks up another dildo, pushes a button)  Hehe… it vibrates.  Look at it go!  

Squall: (his face all red now, drags Laguna out of the room, wanting to leave as soon as possible) 

Laguna: Hey!!  I'm not done yet.  

Squall: yes you are. 

Seifer: (stops them both as they step out the door)  Uh… Laguna, wanna give me back my vibrator? 

Squall: (looks at Laguna's hands, still holding the dildo.  Then he snatches it and threw it across Seifer's room) 

Seifer: That cost a lot of money… Squall………now we can't use it…………

Squall:  (death glare)  

Laguna:  Please, don't get into your first fight because of me.  Anyways, I know just how to solve this.  Lets go eat!  (grins as he turned around and bumped into a wall) 

Squall:  Laguna, I'll lead the way. 

*At the Restaurant*

Seifer:  Wow, it's so nice of your dad to treat us.  I'm definitely going to order a lot.  

Squall: ………don't talk to me……

Laguna: Aww… are you two still fighting?  How cute. (smiles) So what are u ordering??

Squall: Salad. 

Laguna:  Salad!!!  Squall, you're having more than that!  Look you're only skin and bones!! (pinches Squall)

Squall: ………don't touch me……I just want salad. 

Seifer: Umm… Mr. Laguna, since Squall's not ordering much, can I order his share too??  

Laguna: Of course!  (smiles and then sweatdrops as Seifer went on and ordered six main courses)  (whispers to Squall) Are you sure he can finish all that by himself??

Squall:  You'd be surprise. 

Ten minutes later, the food came and all of them started to eat.  

Seifer: Umm… Squall…(pokes Squall) Isn't that your GF? (points to the window next to them) 

Squall: No. Lets eat. 

Seifer: Really… I think that's Ifrit.  You know, red fur, horns, temper, I think that's him.  

Squall: NO. You are wrong. 

Seifer:  I think he's hungry.  Look at the way he's looking at us.  

Ifrit: (whines as he presses his face to the glass) 

Seifer:  Really, Squall, I think that's Iftrit!  Can't you see him?  He's only three feet away.  

Squall: No. 

Seifer:  Fine. (and continues to eat)  

Five minutes later.  

Seifer: He's still looking at us.  (he said as Ifrit presses his face even more to the glass, compressing his features) 

Laguna: Who's looking at us?  (looks around and spots Ifrit)  Oh, my.  He's a rather big doggy isn't he?  I think he's hungry.  Aren't you hungry, little doggy? (he waves his steak around as he talked)  

Squall: (sweatdrop)  I wouldn't do that if I were you.  

Laguna:  Come on, I'm done eating.  I want to see this doggy.  (Grabs his steak and ran outside to Ifrit) 

Squall and Seifer followed, ignoring the cry of the waiter saying something about the bill.  

Squall: Oh, man… (as he saw Laguna playing catch with Ifrit)  

Laguna: Hello doggy. Do you have a name?  Hmm… (seems to think) I think I'll call you Spot!  Here Spot, come here Spot!  Want a steak?? (throws steak across the street)   

Ifrit: (catches steak as it was in midair) 

Laguna: Wow, he's good.  

Ifrit:  (looks and spots Squall)  Squall?  Ifrit Looked For You. 

Squall: (pretending to be surprised)  Ifrit?  Hehe Where have you been?  

Ifrit: Run. Kill. Eat. 

Laguna:  Hey! Spot can talk! That is so cool. 

Ifrit: Ifrit Tired. Sleep Now. 

Squall: Fine. (as he unsummoned the GF, letting him rest) 

Laguna: Waa…Where's Spot? ( looking completely baffled)  

Seifer: (Sighed)  Come on Laguna, we'll bring you back to your hotel.   

Thanks for all your reviews!!  Seriously, I like the first one better…And yes I know some characters are OOC. It was done on purpose.   Maybe someday, I'll write a real story with Squall and Seifer, but this is just for fun.  ^_^ 


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